I have been reading books lately that have had a lot of “Why did God allow this” themes to them – some of them are historical fiction set in the time of the Civil War, written from the point of the slave, and a couple others were written from the point of a Jewish mother during the Holocaust. They have been riveting stories to read, filled with horror and suffering, but with God’s grace in the midst. As I watch the news night after night, I see more hate and killing and torture, and I’ve thought back as to how it seems that each century has brought wars and destruction based totally on just pure hate for the sake of hate – whites hating blacks, Germans hating Jews, Muslims hating Christians. You do wonder sometimes why God allows things to happen.
As I have been pondering over these things, God reminded me of an incident mom and dad had while cutting their hay one year. Almost every year, a fawn will get maimed by the mower blade while the hay is being cut. See, the hay is tall and the fawn will hear the noise of the tractor coming toward it, and its instinct will tell it to just hunker down and be quiet, and this monster coming toward it won’t find it. Little do they realize that the monster has a side mower that will come along and just slice their legs off as they disappear into the field. One such incident, they realized that they had hit a fawn (probably about a week old), slicing off his legs. Dad snapped its neck to put it out of its misery and put it into the truck so he could bury it when they got done that evening.
They continued their work, and mom finished raking while dad was baling, so she took the truck home to fix supper. As she got in the truck and started it up, she thought she heard a baby crying, a human baby, whimpering and sobbing. She turned around to look, and the fawn was there, alive, crying and shaking, having suffered all day long while they worked. Mom said she began to cry – she could not stand the sound of this suffering – so she drives home, scoops the baby up, wraps him in a blanket and holds him to her, crying with him. She recounted that she sat in the rocking chair, rocking and singing to this baby, trying to soothe his pain for several hours.
I remember asking her, “Why did you not just take him out of his misery?” She said, “I couldn’t, I just couldn’t. But I couldn’t bear to leave him either. I prayed and prayed that God would just take him and I wouldn’t have to do anything and he wouldn’t have to suffer any more.” Supper didn’t get made as more important work was done, letting this poor thing know that he wasn’t alone, that someone else was crying with him.
I had a friend receive news this week that I’m sure felt like her legs had been sliced off right at the base, everything she knew and believed and had worked for flying out the window in a few short seconds. I doubt she questioned God at that moment, but I believe she went running to Him, with a “Hold me, hold me, I cannot bear this alone. Help me, help me, you who created all things.” You wonder, how could the same God who allows things to happen hold us and soothe us when it does? Why didn’t he just stop it in the beginning?
Thinking back on this hay field experience, it was probably mom who was running the tractor that did the damage to this little fawn she will spend the evening crying with. She didn’t mean to – she didn’t know that hidden in the grass was a little life in need of protection. Sometimes the circumstances of our lives, the evil of satan, the choices we make (both informed and uninformed) are what leads us to having our legs swiped out from under us. But when it happens, there is a place to run, a place to cry, a place to find healing. If you don’t know Jesus Christ as your Savior, I beg you – seek Him today. Navigating this world without Him by your side is a cold, cold place. But when He wraps you up in His arms to soothe your pain, there is no better place to be.
Deuteronomy 31:8 8 The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
My name is Teresa Evans. I am a wife to Tom, a retired Circuit Judge, and I am a court reporter by trade, a mother by God's grace and a lover of Jesus Christ. I've grown up in a family blessed with many miracles, and have received multiple miracles myself.