Feeling so discouraged today. In the past six months, I have had several friends lose their husbands to other women – men who are not young, should be enjoying retirement and their grandchildren. One of them is 78 years old! Another marriage hit this rocky patch just this week, someone so unexpected I cannot sleep, cannot even think about anything else other than “This cannot be happening.” What is going on?
A good friend says that selfishness is the root of ALL problems. I remember debating this with her, trying to get to a problem that does not have a root of selfishness. If your marriage is in trouble, why? Is it that you want something different than they do? They want something different than you do? Are you unhappy at work? Get passed over for a promotion? Want to be paid more? Do you have financial troubles? All of these things do stem from selfishness, the “I want.” The only problem that I can think of that does not have a root of selfishness is health problems. Although, let’s admit that many times our health problems are a result of poor choices in our eating, our exercise level, etc.
My mono is back, and I’ve been basically sentenced to eight weeks of rest. Can you imagine? I’m trying -- and honestly, succeeding quite well because I’m so exhausted, I can hardly do anything but rest. I’ve had a lot of time to think and to pray and sleep. I know that’s what my body needs, and I honestly must admit that I probably drove my immune system over the edge with work and stress and more work and more stress.
As I pray for my friends, those who are already divorced, and those who are making choices about what to do with this mess that has rocked their world, I can just hear God saying that the devil prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking to destroy. Remember the scripture where God tells Simon, "Simon, Simon, listen! Satan has asked permission to sift all of you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your own faith may not fail. When you have come back, you must strengthen your brothers." Think about it! While we are just living our lives, Satan is seeking to destroy us – to steal our faith – to steal our joy – to rob us of the joys of living: Our marriages, our children, our reputations!
These men who have fallen recently have shocked me to the core – men who I would have bet the bank on, men who I have lived my whole life around and have looked up to. I have obviously underestimated the power of satan and the thrill of the chase of a woman, or the attraction to leave your “boring” life and experience the thrills of a “bad girl,” someone different than the one you sleep with every night. I have grieved, grieved, grieved over the loss of these dreams – the dream of growing old with the one you love, the dream of finally enjoying retirement and travel and fun together without the pressures of work, the dream of enjoying your grandchildren as a couple. How much loss and wreckage has been wrought. These men have lost their friends, their reputations, their respect from others. Is it worth it? Is it?
I stayed awake all night last night praying for this recent couple – praying God convicts, heals, allows forgiveness, takes back what the devil is trying to steal….my heart is broken. Having been divorced and watching my children still struggle with their relationship with their father, their feelings of abandonment, rejection, distance and walls – and they’re almost 30 years old – it kills me to think of more children having to experience that! It never ends. It lasts a lifetime. A lifetime of splintered holidays, splintered birthdays, splintered everything. Oh, God, help us….I pray if you are reading this and you are dallying with a coworker or a neighbor, just even flirting without going farther, get on your knees and ask God to strengthen you! Satan is trying to sift you, and you may not even realize it! There is power in prayer and repentance – your marriage CAN BE SAVED, CAN BE RESTORED. Same goes with other relationships you’ve given up on – pray, pray, pray. Give up the “I want” and ask God what He wants……
My name is Teresa Evans. I am a wife to Tom, a retired Circuit Judge, and I am a court reporter by trade, a mother by God's grace and a lover of Jesus Christ. I've grown up in a family blessed with many miracles, and have received multiple miracles myself.