You're my princess...

​30 years ago yesterday, I gave birth to my first child, a little spitfire we named Talia Rochelle Markham.  She changed my world, like every firstborn does, and captured my heart.  I really wasn’t sure what kind of parent I would be – I’d waited over five years of marriage to get pregnant, and I wasn’t one of those people that just grabs up every baby they see – babies scared me.  They cried and you didn’t know what was wrong with them; they couldn’t express themselves; they were just downright frightening.  And then I end up with a child with colic.  I can remember driving down the road with her screaming in the back seat with all her might, bawling my eyes out, feeling like I’m going to lose my mind.  Then I learned that a couple shots of Tylenol would put her to sleep – just a couple nights of that, and the colic was gone.  I guess you could say I was the first mom I knew to “self medicate”…..
 
As she grew up, it became obvious that she was meant for great things.  I remember vividly falling to my knees in the bathroom crying and thanking God the minute I read the “positive” line on the pregnancy test.  See, I had wondered if I would be able to become pregnant at all, and once we decided we want to try, I began to pray that God would bless us with a child.  And after trying for ONE MONTH, we were pregnant!  From day one, this child was prayed over, was dedicated to the Lord, was wanted and loved.  Back in those days, you didn’t find out what gender the child was; you just decorated your room in primary colors, bought a lot of yellow or green blankets and called it good.  But somehow, in my mind, I just KNEW it was going to be a girl.  I pictured her in my mind, pretended talking to her and walking with her. 
 
As Tal grew up, we were tighter than tight.  Of course, that waxed and waned depending on whether we were fighting over something she wanted to do that I was preventing.  Starting at age 15 months!  People used to tell me that these strong-willed children are the leaders of today, and I wondered if mine would live to get to be a leader, or I might just do her in before she reached adulthood.  Oh, it wasn’t all turmoil – just occasionally.  The majority of the time, we were laughing and loving and living life fast and furious.  Talia’s smile could light up a room, and she has a personality that people gravitate toward.  She is self-deprecating, makes people laugh and feel better about themselves.  She loves hard and is fiercely loyal.  She is one of the hardest workers I have ever known.  Her days are planned and are fruitful – rarely a lazy day.  She reaches out to people with cards and handwritten letters and notes.  She has a grateful spirit that spills over into her daily life, being thankful for large and small things.
 
When she was little (and now), she would read my face and assign emotions to it that would make her worry.  I can remember time after time, she would say, “Mom, what’s wrong?  You’re mad.  What did I do?”  I would say, “Honey, I just got home from a day in trial, I’m just tired.  There’s nothing I’m mad at.”  She follow up with, “No, mom, you just had a mad face on so I know you’re mad.”  I would have to explain and explain and reassure and reassure that nothing was wrong, that no one was in trouble, I just must have had a thought pass my mind that resulted in the “mad face” – whatever that was – pass over my countenance.  She could read my mind, and I could read hers.
 
Last night at dinner for her birthday, Kim was telling a story about her son Nathan getting into an elevator in a huge high rise, and the doors shut and she wasn’t able to make it in with him.  He was small, and someone on the elevator hollers out that they will watch him.  She stands there, her heart in her throat, as she watches that elevator travel to the 23rd floor with her small son being cared for by strangers.  As soon as she’s telling her story, I say to Tal, “What’s that remind you of?”  She instantly knows what I’m thinking – the time we were in New York (as adults) and she gets caught up in a crowd and pushed into a subway whose doors shut before I can make it in.  We had no cell phones or they were dead in the subway, so we had no plan as to what to do.  I just see my daughter’s panicked eyes looking at me through this sea of people, and I had to just try to think of what she would do. 
 
I jump on the next train, and at the first stop, I get off.  To my incredible relief, there stands my adult daughter, and with no care of who was watching, we both threw our arms around each other and cried with the joy of having been reunited.   I have often said that being a mother has taught me more about God’s love than any of the Bible stories or examples of Jesus.  It isn’t until you’ve loved a child or a parent that you know about unconditional love and how beautiful and strong and powerful it is.  No matter what your child does, your love is ever present.  Yes, disappointment can come, and heartache can be a physical pain, but the bond of love is unbreakable and ever-present.
 
Telling this story reminds me of an incident my son had with his daughter Laney a couple weekends ago.  Laney is three and is the most fun kid ever – always laughing, smiling, being silly, singing songs and telling stories.  The two of them had gone to our farm cabin for their first “sweepover,” and Laney was so excited.  They arrive around 8:30 p.m., and it was cold.  Tyler had worn shorts (not sure what that was about!) so he jumps out of the truck to run around and get Laney out and into the house, and as soon as the door shuts, he hears it lock and realizes HIS KEYS ARE IN THE TRUCK.  Laney is still in her car seat, so he runs around to her side of the vehicle and tries to explain what’s happened and tries to tell her how to unbuckle herself.  She can’t do it, and in the trying, becomes panicked.  She’s crying and then he’s crying, and he tells her, “Laney, I’m gonna get you.  Daddy’s gonna get you.  You’re my princess, and I’m going to come and get you out from the back window.”
 
He has just put a topper on his truck and had the back full of cabinets.  In his panicked frozen state, he unloads those cabinets as fast as he could, takes a screwdriver and busts the back glass.  The repair shop told him he busted the most expensive piece of glass on a vehicle (of course!), and at $430.00, they weren’t wrong.  But of course, as a parent, that’s not what you’re thinking of.  You’re thinking of your princess who is stuck in a cold vehicle, and you are the parent, and you are going to get them out.  He said going through his mind the whole time was, “I’ve got this.  I’ve got this.  I’m not worried.  I’m getting her out.”  He’s trying to yell loud enough so she can hear him making his way to her, and she calms down.  He gets her rescued and they get into the cabin to enjoy the rest of their evening, and Tyler says that all through the night, Laney would wake up cuddled next to him and say, “Daddy, I knew you would get me, ‘cause I’m your princess.” 
 
Tyler testified in church the next Sunday that as he thought and thought about this, reliving her panic and his panic and the ensuing details, God began to remind him that this is how he is to us:  We are his princess, his bride, his son, his daughter, and He’s got this!  No matter how trapped we are, how chained down, how panicked, how defeated, how scared, He’s making His way to us, He’s going to rescue us, He’s going to show us how much we are loved and wanted and protected.  There’s nothing He can’t move out of the way, no walls He isn’t strong enough to break down when His princess is on the other side needing Him. 
 
As you look at your children or your parents today, thank the Lord for His protection over you – and if you don’t know Him, today is the day to ask the Lord to come into your heart – there’s no better protector than our God!